I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
