this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
