the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
