So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think my fart just growled at me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
