I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
