he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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