I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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