Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
