I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
