I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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