Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
