Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
