i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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