how can u be prego again
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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