last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if only i could text you this smell
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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