Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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