hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize