I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
