Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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