hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
