He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
