paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
