I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
