Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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