Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
