white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I didn't notice because vodka
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
