fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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