come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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