So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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