Don't make out with my wife yet
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
