So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
be right there i have to get my cape
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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