Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
