I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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