I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
