i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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