In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
