we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
