Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
