Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
