Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
