was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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