Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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