this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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