I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
