i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
