I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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