you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
