I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
