First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
