everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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