Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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