so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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