By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize