He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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