I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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