my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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