just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
