and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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