THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
