that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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